There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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