Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
