the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
