How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
