Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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