The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
