Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Can I color on your dick again?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
