I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
it glows. i had to have it.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
