Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
