the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
