Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just invented taco cereal.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
