can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
