Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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