If i come over, it means nothing
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
