Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
