Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
