she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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