are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You smell like stripper and shame
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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