Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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