Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
