Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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