69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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