Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
