I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
