i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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