i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
