honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
