You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just found a bag of teeth...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
