How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
