just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
