I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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