you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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