I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
