Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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