Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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