You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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