She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize