VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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