I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
