Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
