The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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