WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
