HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
