whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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