mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
that's an acceptable place to lick
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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