I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
