great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
