I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize