is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
