I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
