Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize