you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
