dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
