I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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