dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
