Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
