After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
