You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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